Tag Archives: personal

Oh the temptation! – A spontaneous Low Buy Update

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Since the start of my Low Buy year on January 1st, I haven’t been to a lot of shops except when I know exactly what I need. My main reason is not so much avoiding any temptations but rather the fact that I don’t need anything so there’s no need to go to shops in the first place. Why waste my time in places I got nothing to do except standing around?
This week a dear friend of mine returned from her six-week trip to New Zealand and we celebrated our reunion, going out for lunch and strolling through the city. She was looking for a pair of pants and I needed to get another insert for my traveler’s notebook. Thus, I took her to a shop where we could get both – and more.

I went to get my notebook while my friend asked the sales assistant if she could show her some trousers. All the while I didn’t think about looking around because I knew I wouldn’t buy anything apart from the notebook. Yet this changed when my friend found some amazing pants that looked great on her and were exactly the sort of pants I’m always on the lookout for. Stylish yet comfortable, with a loose fit and of great quality – oh how I felt the temptation …
So much so that I tried on several different colors and styles myself until I had found a pair of pants I loved. However, as I was standing in front of the mirror, I realized that I already have at least two pairs of black pants that look exactly the same. Three months ago I would have said that one could never have too many black pants, 50 % off was a great bargain and so forth. In the end though, this was about WANTING and not NEEDING something. It would have been classic impulsive shopping – just the behavioral pattern I wanted to change.

drawer full of pants

Obviously I already got some pants …

Rules for fools?

I’ve set up some low buy rules to get me through this year and I was about to ignore them for the sake of satisfying a sudden urge that would probably vanish after a few hours (it did). While getting dressed again I gave this thought some time to sink in and I hated it. Every time I go somewhere to buy a gift for a loved one or something I need to replace, I’m always so happy that I stick to my plan. And all of a sudden in the heat of a fleeting moment I wanted to cheat myself out of feeling good about myself for no other reason than WANTING something?

Long story short of course I did not buy those pants. I got my notebook and waited for my friend to continue our afternoon stroll through the city. At the risk of sounding narcissistic and arrogant, I was proud of myself and I felt relieved I did not give in and buy those pants. I may be a fool but at least I stick to my rules (fingers crossed) …

Rules and Reality

“Any fool can make a rule” – I chose this title (which is actually part of a quote by Thoreau) for a good reason. Every time I start walking down some unfamiliar paths, I fear that I will make a fool of myself one way or another until I get some practice or expertise. Inspired by my YouTube playlist full of great advice on low buy, no buy, and minimalism, I established my rules. Yet despite my optimism, I knew it could get tricky at some point. Hence the ironic title and a premonition that it may serve me and this plan of mine well someday in the future.
Well hello – this day has arrived and I did pretty well. By writing about it here, by putting it out there somewhere, it feels like I’m making a confession even though I did nothing wrong. I was on the brink of doing something stupid, but I didn’t do it. Though it may sound ridiculous I thought about how I could explain a new pair of pants to Wonderguy, who would have noticed at some point. Maybe not immediately – after all, he is not the warden of the wardrobe – but he would have recognized it. Knowing about my low buy challenge and being highly supportive of it, there is no way I could have justified buying yet the same black pants again. He might deny it but he has a sixth sense for my guilty conscience purchases – which makes him my perfect supporter.

Cats on bed

Cat content – always a good idea. Even more so when in dire need of some positive vibes.

Get inspired again and again

So if you ever set out to embark on your own low/no buy adventure, make sure to talk or write about it. Hold yourself accountable by making your intentions known to the people around you. In doing so you will feel like shit if you break your own rules. Be vocal about your plans and they will haunt you!
(Re)Watch inspiring videos to motivate you again, read about how others handle their low buy and no buy journey on blogs. Connect with fellow low buyers/no buyers and support each other through all the temptations and difficult moments that might arise. Be it a shitty day at work, anxiety, life or something else that usually triggers you into buying shit you don’t need – reach out to others who share your path. Reddit is a good place to look for kindred spirits, as is YouTube and Instagram (I’m not on Facebook anymore so I don’t know about that). Let’s support each other and be serious about this whole endeavor. Because in the end, it’s not just about each of us, it’s about how we interact with the world around us, learning to cope with what life throws at us without running away into the open arms of the next ATM or online shop.

I did it – for the first time and (very very) probably not the last time.
You can do it too 🙂

 

‘Less is more’ – my Low Buy January recap

Posted in Life and all, low buy by

This Friday the first month of my low buy year ended and it’s time to look back on these 31 days of NOT shopping. How was it? How does it feel? How am I? Could you do it too?

It was great. It feels great. I’m doing great. Yes, you can (if you want to)!

four book covers

So many books … still not enough time?

Spending time not shopping

As most of you who went on a low buy or no buy challenge know, the moment you ditch your compulsive shopping habits is usually also the moment you suddenly have A LOT more spare time at your hand. Surprisingly though, at least for the first 31 days, I had no trouble at all filling new found time slots with projects and things to do.
For one, I read much more. I signed up for a reading challenge on Goodreads and I’m already three books ahead! Right now I’m reading four books — one non-fiction, one for research purposes, one of my beloved Jessicas, and a self-improvement book — which is less than ideal in general and for someone like me in particular but in the end right now it’s ok for me because I feel like a kid on summer break — the world is my oyster and so are my bookshelves!
Having so much more time also enabled me to FINALLY get back into a proper research mode, usually spending my afternoons writing or reading some papers and actively working on my dissertation again. It’s still not ideal but it is far better than it has been just two months ago, so I’m heading in the right direction. Besides, one thing I’ve learned over the years working as a (freelance) writer and copywriter is that it often comes in waves — one day two, three, five pages are no problem at all, other days every line you accomplish seems almost impossible. So maybe ‘ideal’ is whatever works best on any given day, as long as I just keep working.
I also got crafty again embroidering my Kanken and already planning some design for my other backpacks. I created some rather fancy bullet journal spreads, doodling my way through February and some other collections and lists I started. So overall, January was a great start into a year in which I plan to explore and establish new paths, ideas, and ways to handle my stuff.

Kanken Embroidery

I tried something new and embroidered a Kanken.

Spending time shopping

Apart from being the newly (!!) reformed compulsive shopper that I am, I still spent more than enough time ‘shopping’ things I needed. First to mention are groceries, of course. Thanks to meal planning I only have to get groceries about twice (three times at max) a week, but that’s still more than enough.
And then there are those everyday items you never realized how regularly you need them. How often do you buy laundry detergent, toothpaste, or soap? We’ve adapted a lot of our cosmetics and household product to sustainable and/or low waste options, but you still have to get that stuff from time to time — something that does not become obvious until you only go shopping when you need something…
Additionally, apart from buying only what I needed, I also shopped locally most of the time. Instead of ordering an item online just because I could I now took the time to look for shops where I could buy what I needed. So when my gran asked me to get her a sustainable alternative for her plastic straws, I did not order them online but first went to the local zero waste store to see if I could get stainless steel straws there — of course, they had several different versions! When needing yarn for my embroidery project I also went to three different shops until I finally found what I had been looking for. This took some time, but also gave me a new understanding of how to act more sustainably and buy more consciously, using the resources I had all around me — sometimes just five minutes away. After all, this is how I shopped until just about ten, maybe fifteen years ago. Ordering online was an option, but just one of several. It was not the main option and my first choice — and so one could say I’m on my way back to the future that looks surprisingly similar to a not so long ago past.
Admittedly I also spend half of my book budget for January on Amazon, so those tiny steps I took pretty much amortized itself with this act, but since I would have had to order those books anyway, I decided to do it on my own without the hassle of interpersonal interaction (after all it’s called The Merry Loner for a reason)

Because I completely forgot about my tuition fees which were due in January (as every year but bless this mess that is my brain …) it was not a successful month regarding my saving plans, BUT it could have been much worse. I plan to do my best to undo some of the ‘losses’ in February by taking a close look at upcoming financial obligations before they take me by complete surprise thereby planning accordingly to not end up frustrated at the end of the month.

Room for improvement

January was an overtly social month. We went out for dinner with friends three times and I had three lunch dates, which is definitely more than I and we usually dine out in a month (we are literal homebodies). This is something that did not go according to my plan and rules and I want to change that in February. As I don’t want to rebuff my loved ones when they ask me or us out, this may become a true challenge over the months but sometimes it’s also a question of timing: I hadn’t had a single dinner date (meaning going out for dinner paying for it myself) in December, only to have a surprise visit from friends and family on different weekends in January – something like this can come up and when it does it depends on how you want to handle it. I decided to give in and spend time with people I love, but you could decide to instead invite them over to your place and cook. You could also do something completely different to appreciate your loved ones without having to spend additional money. This is why low buy rules may sometimes be prone to bending at the edges according to what is within limits. Yes, I overspent on eating out BUT at the same time I didn’t use up my whole January book budget. One does not amortize the other, still it is a way of bending the rules without having to feel like a complete failure.

February low buy — what lies ahead?

According to what I wrote earlier, I will do my best to calculate upcoming expenses. February 5th is my mom’s birthday and I will spend some money to get her a gift. We have a sort of town festival coming up which may add some additional costs, but not that much. I have to pay my train tickets for an upcoming holiday and the annual fee for an app I decided to keep. Apart from that, I hope for some smooth sailing and fancy saving my book budget for the month because this idea of ‘rediscovering my bookshelves’ works surprisingly well, so I may stick to it for now without adding anything to my collection.
I’m not a big planner and I won’t ever become one but trying to keep an overview of what’s coming up this month hopefully is sufficient for my low buy life and also gives me a sort of grown-up vibe (again) that is 15 years late. In the end though it’s about what works for me which may be different from how others handle their life (and low buy). We are here to share, support, and inspire each other — let’s do exactly that! 🙂

 

How to … Low Buy?!

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bookshelves full with books

Being the ADHD nerd that I am, I always try to be prepared the best I can for upcoming plans and challenges. Educating myself in regards to every possible eventuality that could occur gives me a sense of security and peace of mind, knowing I will be able to handle pretty much everything life throws at me (note that I say “pretty much everything” and not “all” – I’m an absent-minded idealist, not a complete idiot). This, of course, means that I did my best to prepare myself for the challenge ahead, my Low Buy  2020. Watching videos, listening to podcasts and reading some inspiring blog posts all contributed to me still going strong and not even missing shopping in any way on day 12 of this new adventure. It wasn’t that easy and enjoyable to quit smoking, that much I can already say. My various sources provided me with some valuable tips on how to best navigate through a world that is focused on mindless consumption as a way to raise your spirits, and I picked those that work best for me. Here are my favorites. 

Out of Sight, out of Mind – Unsubscribe and Unfollow

I heard and read different opinions regarding unsubscribing and unfollowing to remove yourself from even the slightest temptation. Whereas some want to stay informed about what’s going on – especially those coming from makeup low/no buys – others insist on unsubscribing and unfollowing to make your life a lot easier during a low buy or no buy challenge. I agree with the latter. Consequently, unsubscribing from newsletters and similar E-mails as well as unfollowing some accounts on Insta makes this challenge a lot easier. I’m susceptible to seeing something online and instantly wanting it, especially regarding clothes, backpacks, and bags. I’ve worked in marketing and advertising long enough to recognize certain linguistic devices and design elements, thus it’s not necessarily the ads or E-mails I fall for, but rather a look promoted by some influencer or a certain kind of website with a minimalist look, elegant and low key – that’s my soft spot.
So better safe than sorry – unsubscribe, unfollow, un-everything that helps you not to feel like you’re missing out or denying yourself a better life. Also: less spam mail, more spare time – hooray!

When removing myself from all temptation, this also means not going to the stores or shopping malls. Since I’m not a big fan of crowds in general this is a rather positive consequence of my Low Buy. The same applies to online shops: I don’t want to buy anything so why should I visit their website?

Plan ahead for you Low Buy Challenge

I removed every shopping app I had on my cellphone and tablet – nothing is more convenient than scrolling through Amazon when you’re bored, so by simply removing the app it’s not THAT easy. Some suggest to also deleting your credit card/bank detail from online store accounts so that you have to fill in all your information every time you want to make a purchase. This would probably thwart quite a few shopping ambitions since most of us can’t remember all their information and are often simply too comfortable to get up and search for it in a bag, wallet, or wherever you store it. I haven’t done this because I don’t think I need it – but it’s a good advice for those who may need it.
In addition to removing all shopping apps, I’ve also created a wish list were I record all the items that I may want to buy after giving it some time and consideration. As my Low Buy Year should largely be a No Buy Year, I won’t buy most of the items on my wish list  before 2021, if ever. The only exceptions are items deemed necessary (as I explained in my Low Buy Rules). And books. But I got a separate wish list for books since a monthly book budget of €50 doesn’t necessarily mean I can buy every book I want. Planning is key. Always.

Furthermore, meal planning will also help to shop consciously, though this might not be for everyone. I started meal planning a few months ago – inspired by Anna Newton and her book The Anna Edit – because I don’t like cooking and I’m not exactly creative in the kitchen department; in combination with the fact that without a clear plan I have a hard time shopping groceries (some say that’s one symptom of ADHD – whatever it is I hate it) a meal plan is a great way to make my life much easier. However, one of the side benefits I never thought of is that we’re saving money. 

To plan ahead also means keeping track of your money. Even though this challenge is not mainly about saving money but rather about my inner peace and freedom from shopping as a crutch to use whenever I feel low, one of my main goals is saving a decent amount of money. Having some money on the side will buy you the freedom to live on your own terms whenever you feel the need to do so.
Keeping a budget will help you to track your money, seeing where it goes and planning where it should go instead. I don’t like apps so I do it the traditional ‘analog’ way with charts and lists, and I’m only at the beginning of actually telling my money where to go BUT I’m on my way. If you decide to keep a budget yourself, find a way that works for you – you will find tips regarding #budgeting all over the internet.   

That’s the last post of my Low Buy for Beginners series – for now.
I will continue to write about my Low Buy Challenge 2020 as well as the books I read and the life I live … just as I did before. Enjoy 🙂 

“Any fool can make a rule …”

Posted in Life and all, low buy by

Before deciding to start my Low Buy 2020 Challenge I went on YouTube and watched videos by Hannah Louise Poston, Christina from style apotheca, Signe from useless_dk, and Hailey Evans, amongst others, for inspiration and to get an idea of what I actually want to do – low buy, no buy, a whole year, just a few months?
Thanks to Signe I realized early on that a complete No Buy year would very probably set me up for failure because in the end I wouldn’t be allowed to buy a single book for a whole year (yeah, I know, I’m such a drama llama when it comes to books …). That’s why I granted myself the luxury of a 50 Euro book budget every month. My main objective is to rediscover my bookshelves and read what I have – so best case scenario would be to save additional 50 Euros every month – yet if I absolutely HAVE to get a certain book (maybe even for professional reasons) I can buy it without breaking the rules of my Low Buy challenge feeling like a total loser.

bookshelves with books and plants

Another thing that became clear early on was that I needed set up some rules for myself if I wanted to suceed in not buying anything I don’t need. I’m a grown-ass woman and intellectually capable of grasping the basic idea of a ‘low buy challenge’ BUT the issue may get a bit more complicated over time and I know I have to give myself some guidelines to follow so I won’t start bullshitting myself … Thus, I did some research and voilà – THE rules! 🙂

My Low Buy 2020 rules:

1) I will not buy any new clothes, bags, backpacks, or shoes. Nothing. I got enough stuff to get me through more than just a year and I will make use of it.

2) I will keep track of my spending to keep my eyes on the prize, i.e., see how much money I save by not buying shit I don’t need. I will do so by tracking my expenses in my bullet journal because apps simply don’t do the trick for me.

3) I will buy replacements WHEN NEEDED. This includes groceries, medical items, skin care products and toiletries, household goods, stationary/office supplies, plants (as stated before I might have killed one of our green friends …), fabric and wool. BUT: I will buy this only WHEN NEEDED. I will not accumulate a collection of notebooks, deodorants, or candles as long as I got enough of it and don’t need one specific item. I will use up (or discard) what I own before buying anything new.

4) I can sew or knit something new if I want to BUT (again) I will use the fabric and wool I have at home before buying anything new. Only then am I allowed to buy materials for one new item per month. In doing so I want to train my patience by actually making something myself – which takes much longer than simply buying it – and also create a sort of appreciation for clothing in general. Garments don’t grow on racks, they are made by someone and it takes time and workmanship to create a piece of clothing. So why not take a step back and do it myself – I got the equipment but lack skills and patience, so this promises to bring lots of fun.

5) I will only have two take-outs per month at the max.

6) I have a book budget of 50 Euros per month. Since book shopping has never been a problem in the first place, I want this one thing to continue ‘as usual’. However, I will not spend more than 50 Euros – if something is too expensive, it has to wait. So I have to think hard about which books I really want and which ones I put on my wishlist. 

7) I will buy gifts for others or spend money on shared experiences. This includes vacations, lunch/dinner/coffee dates, and trips to a museum, the zoo or the like. Since I’m not a huge socializer to begin with, it’s not like this is something that happen three times a week. Usually I have a fortnightly lunch date with a good friend of mine as well as the occasional coffee date with friends or family. I couldn’t afford vacations for several years not only for monetary reasons but also because of mental health issues. That’s why I don’t want to cut back on traveling for this Low Buy challenge in general, nevertheless I will focus on the experience and not on the shopping opportunities when up and away. In the end it’s not like I’m flying across the globe every few weeks …

8) No IKEA, no mugs, no home decor and the like.

9) No video games. I will use what I have.

10) Whenever I see an item I want to have I put it on my wish list. Having and (pretty much) curating a wish list will give me an understanding of the things I WANT compared to what I actually NEED. It will also give me the certainty that even though I may not be able to buy it now it will not be forgotten and can be bought in a few months/weeks time.

My main incentive is to save some money. I was good at saving money when I had none – it’s time to get back into that spirit. Because the only thing worth spending money on is time for yourself … at least to me. 🙂

  

I need a break … My Low Buy Year for Beginners

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LOw Buy1stpost1

Christmas is NOT my time of the year. And this year was no exception. It’s stressful, most people are highly irritable, and it seems to be all about shopping, shopping, shopping. Bigger, better, more exclusive. Not that I’m any better just because I don’t do Christmas – there’s still Black Friday and any other day to shop ’til I drop.  And slowly but steady it’s getting too much.

I need break. Offline AND online. First and second hand.

I’m not a shopaholic in any traditional understanding (I only buy what I can afford and more often than not even have some money left to put aside) BUT I sure as hell have established a nice little retail therapy routine within the last year that is neither healthy nor desireable. Therefore I want to give it up again before it becomes alarming and consolidates its full habitual strength (I’m an ex-smoker, I know what I’m talking about). In the end it’s not only a waste of precious lifetime but also money and more often than not I end up discarding or re-selling the stuff I bought because I already have more than enough.
For several weeks now it feels like I’ve reached a sort of climax and need a nice clean cut to head in a new direction. While looking for some inspiration regarding possible new directions I came upon some very inspiring YouTube videos (which I will share with you in another post). As a result – and because I appreciate the overly dramatic symbolism of a well thought out New Year’s resolution – I decided that as of January 1st, 2020 I will embark on my own Low Buy Challenge for the next 365 days. And to create a feeling of responsibility towards myself and others, I will add a #lowbuy category here on this blog to write about it along the way. Hopefully.

 

No Buy? No, Low Buy

LowBuyfirstpost2

Contrary to others who start a NO BUY journey, I prefer to call mine a LOW BUY year, even though I plan on not buying any shit I just want but don’t need. To make this easier and more structured – YES I tried a few low buys before and it went not that great – I will set up some rules which I will explain in my next post (as well as the exceptions to it, i.e. my monthly book budget). Main thing is that I will not buy anything new except replacements and things I really NEED and not only WANT. Apart from groceries I will replace the following items/categories only when needed: 

  • – Medicine
  • – Beauty/skin care products
  • – Stationery / office supplies
  • – Plants (there is a slight chance that I killed our bamboo – if that’s that case we definitely need another plant in its place, no matter if low buy or not …)
  • – Fabric and wool

As you can see I did not mention clothes, shoes or backpacks/bags. That’s because I do have plenty of these and there won’t be much need to replace an item (except for a pair of black sneakers and a leather jacket, but I may find these items even before 2020). Instead of shopping for clothing, I plan on sewing (knitting) more. Since I’m no experienced seamstress it will take me longer until I ‘get’ something new but I appreciate items I’ve made myself much more because of all the time and work I invested – though I often make a stupid mistake along the way and the result looks like something most people wouldn’t even use as a cleaning rag. Well, it’s called “challenge” for a reason.

Nevertheless, with some inspiration and support from the low buy and minimalism community on YouTube, Instagram and all over the web I will navigate through rough waters while discarding old habits. In the spirit of Signe Hansen’s (useless.dk) hashtag #2020wehaveplenty let me tell you that I do indeed have plenty and intend to make good use of it for the coming year.

Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Let’s see what will happen – next year. 

P.S.: Of course I will continue to write about books – after all I hope to read much more once I stop wasting my time…so bear with me while I try some new things and rediscover my bookshelves 🙂

So Marie Kondo opens a shop …

Posted in Life and all, Nerdy stuff by

… and shit hits the fan – in quite opposite directions.
Die-hard fans and design aficionados appreciate the forthcoming sparks of joy they expect from ordering a $200 tea container or a $75 tuning fork with rose quartz – things every home obviously needs to have. Haters meanwhile have a field day; Twitter and Instagram are abuzz with hilarious comments regarding Kondo’s new business venture.

Kondotuningfork

“She is never without a crystal” – Marie probably is on rather intimate terms with Airport security personnel … 

I get it. The woman who preaches freedom from all clutter and empty surfaces now sells stuff no one needs at quite hefty prices. Marie Kondo is this cute little Japanese lady who likes to jump around whenever she sees boxes of clutter on Netflix. She has already sold us three books when one would have been enough (who really needs The Life-Changing Manga of Tidying up or Spark Joy when The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying up contains all the main information?)  – and will try to sell you two more, one children’s book on friendship (Kiki & Jax – the Life-Changing Magic of Friendship) and one on organizing your workspace/workplace (Joy at Work – The Life-Changing Magic of Organizing your Working Life) – in 2020. I’m not sure I want someone who sends her socks on vacation every time she puts them in the drawer explain to me how I should streamline my workflow. Imagine explaining to your boss that you won’t be able to make it to the afternoon meeting because it may take a while to thank every individual key on your keyboard for its excellent service today … Well, at least we are already used to Marie writing books. And it’s not the first time someone uses the same ‘story’ over and over again to make more money (just look at Allen Carr’s “Easy Way” books).

Kondobooks2020

Brace yourself, there are new books on the way.

But a shop? Consumer capitalism tells us that this is OF COURSE the next thing in line. People not only want to read about and implement the KonMari method, they want to live KonMari. And what does ‘living KonMari’ mean? Buying it, of course. That’s also what all the fuzz regarding ‘Hygge’ is about. People in Denmark aren’t just happy because they live in a world full of cozy blankets and lovely interpersonal relations, they also live in a country that provides government welfare, a high wage level, and what Americans like to call ‘free health care’ –  long story short: when you can afford to lose your job or get sick, you can also sell cheap shit like scented candles and polyester blankets under the label ‘hygge’ – and apart from the label this concept does not necessarily include anyone or anything from Denmark at all.

Same goes for Marie. The goods she sells are elegant, well-designed, and nice to look at. She opened her own online store and did not start a partnership with Walmart or H&M to sell tons of junk but instead offers high-quality design items. Of course a tea container also serves a certain purpose; more so than a computer brush or a flower bouquet tote, at least in my personal opinion. Still, nothing in Marie’s shop is important OR something we may not already have (EXCEPT for the computer brush, maybe?). But hey, no one has to buy it. There are people out there buying overpriced stuff from a mediocre blond actress who made an empire out of selling shit no one needs – and I’m not just talking about Goop for that matter. So why should Marie, with her well-thought-out concept of sparking joy not at least try? No one has to watch her show. No one has to buy her books. No one has to feed the money monster.

Kondoflowertote

Groceries and other things one could carry around in a tote will vanish into thin air the moment they come in contact with this Flower Bouquet ONLY Tote …

Also, while we’re at it, what about all those influencers who promote slow fashion, conscious living/consumerism, and minimalism and still regularly present new stuff? Yes they get free samples from mainly independent companies and small labels that are more often than not worth mentioning and promoting BUT what is slow, conscious or minimalist about presenting new skin care, clothes, bags or the like every other week on Instagram? We are all trying our best to live up to the ideals we cherish, but this might not be as easy or consistent as we would like it to be. Life is full of inconsistencies and gray areas. Is it possible to withdraw from classic consumer capitalism in a way of not constantly wanting new things and being content with what one already has? I guess so. I hope so. I’m sure as hell trying my best. Because I don’t want to KonMari my shit every few years. But I fail quite frequently and there’s much room for improvement.

I’m still following slow/fair fashion, minimalist, eco friendly influencers on Instagram – in some instances the same ones who lost their rather self-righteous shit about Marie Kondo’s shop … whilst promoting new stuff they ‘received for free’ even though they are on a shopping ban right now or so (oh my, what a coincidence!). Because I like their posts, need my daily dose of procrastination, and it’s actually just 4 or 5 people so their ‘influence’ is manageable … 😀

BTW: there’s an interesting article on VICE regarding Marie’s new shop; the NYT too writes about the dubious nature of the backlash Marie is receiving for her new online store. As I said: gray areas everywhere …

Reading Marie Kondo and so much more … “The life-changing magic of tidying up”

Posted in Life and all, Literature by
UNADJUSTEDNONRAW_thumb_b

Being the aspiring minimalist that I am, I only got the ebook version of Marie’s masterpiece.

My oh my – the world is my oyster and I am allergic to seafood … I have to change. Or: I have to change something.

Over the last few years and months I’ve read tons of books about ADHD, anxiety disorders and mindfulness. One thing I’ve learned is that I can focus and work better in a clean and organized environment. Moreover, I’ve learned that I should streamline as much as possible – what to cook and eat, what to wear, what music to listen to when working/writing/feeling blue, what to read … – and eliminate unnecessary choices so as to save time and energy.  I’m also practicing my own version of mindfulness, using the App Insight timer for meditation and following advices from authors like Ruby Wax and Mark Williams, Matt Haig and Aaron Gillies (to name just a few).

Streamlining mundane tasks and eliminating choices goes hand in hand with decluttering, at least in my little corner of this world. I’ve already started decluttering and discarding months (years?) ago, and though I read Francine Jay’s The Joy of Less early on, in the beginning I didn’t have a system regarding how and what to discard. I just knew I had too much and I wanted to change that. For further inspiration I read Fumio Sasaki’s Goodbye Things as well as a German book by Lina Jachmann, Einfach leben. Finally, somewhere along the way to ADHD-reducing minimalism I encountered Marie Kondo and let me tell you: I was not impressed.

Marie and me: no love at first sight

To be more precise: the first time I read The life-changing magic of tidying up I was rather disappointed and a bit irritated. Because when Marie Kondo explained that

The socks and stockings stored in your drawer are essentially on holiday. They take a brutal beating in their daily work, trapped between your foot and your shoe, enduring pressure and friction to protect your precious feet. The time they spend in your drawer is their only chance to rest.

I wasn’t sure what to make of this. I felt terribly sorry for my socks which was NOT helpful for someone like me who tends to a) feel guilty for pretty much everything (thanks gran!) and b) anthropomorphize A LOT of things which makes discarding stuff even more difficult. But apart from that all these sparks of joy she was talking about did not resonate with me. Therefore I decided that Kondo was not for me and put it aside. Several months later I discovered the wonderful and hilarious podcast By the book in which the hosts Kristen and Jolenta did an episode on Marie Kondo and her bestseller. Listening to it I realized that I may have missed some important points and decided to give her another chance. I even watched an episode of Mario Kondo’s show on Netflix –and finally I saw the light … once I saw this tiny lady jumping through pure chaos while staying happy-go-lucky I finally understood why she was taking her socks on a lovely little holiday every time she puts them in a drawer. She lives in her very own little world, all tidy and organized and full of joy, which seemes strange but wonderful. I decided to give her book another go.

Oh the (sparks of) joy!

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The ebook from a different angle – taking photos of a ‘real’ book is a bit more inspiring …

The second time around it worked MUCH better! I ignored the cheesy bits and adapted Marie’s plan to my needs. After all, I live in a medium-sized European apartment and not a Japanese single flat; it was also not the first time I started a decluttering tour de force, so I focused on my weak spots and paid less attention to those areas that are already well organized.

Following Marie’s plan I started with my clothing. I imagined I would be left with a few T-shirts, some pants and two skirts but it was actually not THAT bad (or good). Since I’ve applied the ‘one in, one out’ rule long before Kondo-ing the shit out of my stuff, looking for the sparks of joy in my drawers and closet was not as fulfilling as I had imagined it to be. I had already discarded a lot of clothes, shoes, and bags before so this time around it was mainly about the spark of joy and nothing more. Still even the second time around it took me more than one round to eliminate all the items that didn’t spark enough joy. I guess I overlooked some less sparkier items and mistook them for great bearers of joy, love, peace, and happiness.
I still have a hard time figuring out what the spark says about my bags and backpacks – I’m not that much into fashion and shoes but I do love me a good handbag (or backpack for that matter). So I decided to disagree with Marie in that life-changing can be seen as a relative term and also describes a “life-long” process of figuring out which bag to keep and which to let go of. After all everything in life is a process, so why hurry?

A few weeks after the big closet decluttering bash I kondo-ed my books. This was a bit easier as I discovered quite quickly whether there was a spark or not. ‘Professional’ books (mainly academic books) did not offer the option of joyous sparks – Foucault very probably wouldn’t give a shit about his potential on the spark-of-joy-o-meter and that’s fine with me – so they were out of bounds. Regarding most of my other books I realized that I have very ‘sparkly’ bookshelves and still prefer books over pretty much everything else – even bags.

Books were the last category I’ve Kondo-ed thus far. I got a list somewhere which tells me exactly what I should declutter next (bathroom items, maybe?) but my main concern was clothes and books. Since I got these done I feel no urgency to tackle any other category soon. I’m not a fan of relying solely on digitalized photos and documents, so while I like to have a digital backup ’somewhere’ (beware of the ADHD brain’s ‘somewhere’), I don’t intend to throw away all my photos or important documents just because Marie or any other minimalist say so.
Furthermore, for me decluttering and discarding has a calming and cathartic effect so I’m in no hurry to empty our apartment in record speed. To me a certain form of decluttering, discarding, and rearranging is a life-long process that changes the way I myself and my life (our life) changes. So while I appreciate Marie’s efficiency, I see no reason to emulate her. I still stick to my ‘one in, one out’-rule, not with books but with everything else, and I apply Marie’s spark joy approach whenever I’m not sure if I should keep or toss a certain item. Both methods are very useful and give me good results.

However, decluttering is not my main issue anymore. I progressed to a more urgent problem I’ve developed over the last couple of months: digital thrifting.
I invest hours in searching for the right piece only to wait several more days or weeks until the price drops so I can finally make my bid. I get a sort of adrenalin rush when days and weeks of observing an offer finally pay off. On a bad day checking my apps and wishlists is the perfect diversion and also leads me to believe that I’m achieving something even though all I actually do is planning to accumulate stuff I don’t need. What was a nice little pasttime became a nasty habit. While in the past I would have had a few beers to drown a shitty day or smoked more ciggies than I should to calm my nerves, I now found a different crutch to help me calm down when I feel a bit blue – cheaper than drinking or smoking, but only slightly healthier. Also totally irritating for someone who is actually all about REDUCING the stuff she owns …. 

But that’s a different story.