A few weeks ago I sent a conference proposal to the organizers of an upcoming event; I finished it hastily, of course having waited until the last possible moment to get it out there, and wonderguy did his best revising it even though he does not work with the English language often. Since I just wanted to show my supervisor that I at least once sent out a proposal and never ever actually expected anything coming out of it, I was not only shocked, but also deeply disturbed that they indeed were “delighted” to ‘invite’ me to talk at their conference in London in May 2016.
I’ve never been to a conference, not actively, not as someone standing there, giving a talk, reading a paper, whatever. I always thought only professionals, established scholars with a certain name and tons of degrees and stuff like that are active participants at conferences; not someone like me, a provincial freestyle PhD-student, trying to untie the huge brain knot she has in her head regarding her work(s). I’m not a professional, I’m not even close to being one.
And even though there is still some time left (more than two months, to be a bit more precise), I’m already totally nervous and stressed out because I feel like I have to be prepared for every nasty and awful question possible (and there are tons of those), therefor I’ll have to re-read and re-research everything I ever got my hands on. This, of course, is just impossible, which means I can only hope that my blood pressure will lower some day before May and I will also rely on the fact that there won’t be enough time for the audience to ask all the nasty and awful questions possible because my talk will probably (hopefully!!!) only last at around 20 minutes, with 10 minutes or so for discussion, which is not enough time to kill me verbally. At least I hope so.
Also, I can’t actually afford attending the conference, because London is wonderful and expensive and so are the flights. Still, of course, I will go. I can do magic (I hope).
Not to forget this grown-up business, like finding a cheap flight and hotel to stay, and of course getting a new passport, since the Brits are getting ready to show the world their extraordinary uniqueness by leaving the EU (an idea I will no comment any further, out of respect for, uhm, people and stuff, and also because I love London and some other places too much to piss them off…) which means I should probably not rely on looking nice and friendly and very EU-ish, but rather get a new passport IN TIME; in short, adulting all over the place like a pro.
But still, there is always time to check Neko Atsume; never miss an opportunity to spend some time with virtual pets who pay for your efforts in fish.